THE MBA

(Reference :

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150661139949621&set=a.10150315001949621.359428.612039620&type=1&theater)

Recently, I received a particularly amusing email. It was an essay for the entrance exam in the Indian Civil services on “The Cow”. The essay was penned by someone not particularly well-versed in the English language, and much of the hilarity of the essay was because of that one particular factor, for those of you who have not chanced upon that email, here is a sneak preview:

“He is the cow. “The cow is a successful animal. Also he is a four footed, and because he is female, he give milks (but will do so when he is got child). He is useful to man. But he has four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use., More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement (Horses don’t have such attachments).

Apart from the amusement value, I was fascinated by the essay for its novel use of language, with hopefully laser grammatical errors, in describing another creature very successful in our society—the MBA.

He is the MBA. He is a successful creature. He rides a “Lohay ka Dabba “(a car) with four wheels. His car plays loud music in ----err---very strange English language. He lives in a bangle. He is also wearing costly clothes, with many ties of many colors. He has good quality pants and his shirts are good quality. He has many notes. His purse is full of notes and all that stuff. The MBA is successful because he is using his money to spend in the good stuff which makes his car seat, full of jumpy and softle stuff. He also has a mobile phone. The MBA makes phone calls from his mobile phone; the mobile phone doesn’t have a thread of current, and plays English film sounds. So the MBA is made up of car, bangla, clothes, ties, pants and shirts, notes, purse and mobile phone. The MBA was a perfect person once too.

The MBA is very much educated. He speaks English like the speaking of English by the English and the American. He talks by the English of all the worldly objects and stuff and the peoples and the businesses. He is talking in English with the English too. So he is very deeply educated, the MBA.

The MBA is always dynamic. He is running from one position to another in the loha-car, always in hurry and blaming abuses on the rickshaw and the tonga-wallas. And many times English bad-words, too, who are slowly traveling on their rural speeds. But these are English abuses, so they are good to give. Because they teach poor, rural peoples little English na---no? So he is dynamic and always education from the dynamics of his car.

The MBA is networking and it has many friends, families and relatives. He has so many and makes so many friends and families because he can always give them his extra notes and take them for MC Dondal’s for Ice creams and English bun kababs. The friends of MBA are also MBAs because the MBA likes to talk English with peoples. But peoples are not knowing very good Englishes. So MBA talks to MBAs and makes MBA friends only. The wife of MBA are white and with English speaking tounges. The MBA and the wife talk to their sons and boys in English and only English. They want their children to be MBAs too.

All peoples everywhere are always willing all days to give their daughters hands to even every black color MBAs. Black color doctors and engineers find it very uneasy to find hands of various daughters who are white and beautiful.

This is almost the end of all the MBA.

Managerial Mistakes to Be Avoided At All Costs

Managers need to be very vigilant when they have a team of employees working under them as they have to personally motivate each employee to give his best performance and make sure that all of the employees are happy with their jobs. If you are at a managerial position, it is expected that you can manage a team successfully and without any issues arising between the team members.

Given below are some of the most common mistakes made by managers which result in low output of the entire team:

1-     Neglecting People In Favor Of Policies:

There is no doubt that policies are meant to be followed strictly but showing some flexibility with employees is also important. If a very hard working employee has a personal problem which is making it impossible for him to attend the office during the mentioned timings, rather than letting him or her go, it is better to allow him or her some leniency in time so that you can retain the valuable employee by bending the rules to some extent.

2-     Lack of Communication:

One of the most important aspects of the job of a manager is to make sure that he or she is communicating with the employees regularly and effectively. The manager needs to convey the specific instructions for a given task and the time available to finish the job. A manager has to assess each team member on the basis of his performance and this needs proper communication within the team and with the manager.

3-     Ignoring the Team Members:

Ignoring the concerns and the suggestions provided by a team member is not a good way to get the team motivated. The team members often come up with very good ideas and ignoring them can lead to missing a good opportunity for any given project. A good manager listens to his or her team members and takes their suggestions into consideration.

4-     Failure to Take Responsibility:

A good manager is one who focuses on not only getting the credit for the successes but is also comfortable in taking responsibility for the failures rather than blaming it on the team members. You need to be able to accept your mistakes and take full responsibility for the consequences if you are hoping to become a good manager.

5-     Favoritism among the Team Members:

Although we are all aware of the fact that favoritism and nepotism in a team can lead to poor output and lack of motivation for the rest of the employees but the fact remains that some managers do indulge in this practice. Picking your favorite member of the team and allowing him or her special privileges not only affects the performance of the team members but also gives you a negative reputation.

6-     Setting Unrealistic Tasks:

Some managers are so obsessed with getting the work done as soon as possible that they do not take the time to explain the tasks assigned to the team members properly and push the team for instant results. This leads to a lot of mistakes and often the team members feel stressed out and fail to achieve the best results possible.

7-     Implementing Too Many Changes:

While some changes are good, implementing too many changes too often can lead to unrest among the team members as most people are comfortable working in a set pattern. Whenever you are planning on implementing a change, make sure that all team members are comfortable with the change and can easily adapt to the change.

Fluttering Butterflies at the Office

Human beings are emotional animals at the core; a strong affection or attraction can develop anywhere – the street, the neighborhood, universities (ah yes, we have been there haven’t we?). Well, when romance springs up in an office setup it can lead to one of two things; it can either bloom into a beautiful tube rose, tall and magnificent – or, it can be your worst nightmare (it can lead to a termination, a law suit for harassment, downfall of one’s career and so on). There is nothing wrong with having an attraction or that special spark for someone; but one should be mindful of the line between a delicate passionate romance and an offending harassment.

Research shows we are likely to spend a third or even more of our lives at places where we work; it is then not surprising for the buds of romance to bloom at the office. Companies have tried to put a ban on dating among employees; but they soon realized “if it has to happen, it will happen”. Also, if two employees are romantically attracted, and if these two employees happen to be among the best ones a company has, they might lose their sense of loyalty for the company. Today, responsible companies have removed the restriction with a statement “what you do with your life is your business; we only care about how productive you are between office hours”. Still, how to make sure a manager isn’t taken off guard and how to make sure you as the management get the best out of this inevitable situation?

Define Boundaries

The first thing you as a manager need to do is make sure your company has a “harassment policy” – if there is not one in place, generate one and have it enforced as soon as possible. Acknowledging and appreciating the human element in your organization you obviously cannot create borders for emotions or feelings; but, you can make the harassment policy very clear to your human resource and let them know about the company’s take on the issue should one be brought up. If there is an employee who is not interested or receptive to the advances of another, they should know they can always come up to you and let you know with a confidence that their identity and the case will be dealt with high confidentiality.

Decide if it is Appropriate?

Many educational institutes as well as offices the world over have defined what is appropriate and what is not. Yes, this does sound a little harsh but then again, the company and its interests come first. The policy should spell out clearly what is and what isn’t appropriate. For instance, a manager being romantically involved with a subordinate can be tagged as in-appropriate. Make sure, the policy is as clear as possible, covering all aspects.

Benefits

The benefits of allowing romance among employees within acceptable limits can do wonders for the morale of your human resource. To start with, you will have a bunch of happy workers who love to work together. A happy worker is a productive worker right? The other benefit is that you will have fewer absentees since workers emotionally connected will look forward to spending time with each other, and since they can be together for prolonged hours at the office they will do their best not to absent themselves from the office. Another advantage is that emotional partners know they have someone they can trust and confide in to talk about their activities and issues at work – this way, they will try to resolve the issue among themselves before coming to you – eventually, the management will have more time to think about more serious issues like market competition and growth.

The Downsides

Situations like these can be controlled in a way that most downsides are preventable; yet, there are some which are simply not, no matter how effective and well laid policy you have in place. If two employees decide to get married, you might lose one of perhaps both. On the other side, you will at times have a few couples who will start to think they are a little more smarter than you – thinking that way, they will try to find loop holes within the policy. This particular disadvantage can be your strength should you decide to see it that way. Even if couples do find loopholes they are actually doing you a favor by finding them for you to fill. Another issue that may arise is the case of “heartbreaks” which is devastating to say the least – you cannot prevent this from happening, but if it does you can ease the suffering, you will need to make sure there is someone in the company (preferably at a senior position) who is friendly, popular among your employees and someone everyone likes to talk to. If an employee does give the appearance of a shipwreck, s/he can go to this individual and talk it out. You will be surprised how much a simple conversation can help.

What need to be done?

Prevention is better than cure and this is something you cannot prevent; but you can limit an undesirable event. Make sure you have a “fraternization policy”, well formulated and firmly enforced. Once you have enforced it, be realistic with your expectations. Chances are for the first few terms, your policy will reveal loopholes – once that happens, be active in filling those up. Make sure you have an “Employment Handbook” which details each and every policy the management has put in place. Distribute a copy of this handbook to every member of the company and take their acknowledgement for it. If you would like to improve the atmosphere of your company more, try to formalize an Employee Assistance Program/Department responsible for helping employees with their stress and issues, including those of emotions.

A well composed, widely publicized and strictly enforced fraternization policy will still not prevent office romances from blooming; however, it will make it a lot easier and less litigious for everyone involved particularly you, the management.

Remember, a good manager gets things done; a better manager mentors his/her subordinates to accomplish tasks time and time again, being mindful of their feelings and emotions.

So Mr/Ms Manager, choose to be a Mentor!