Fluttering Butterflies at the Office

Human beings are emotional animals at the core; a strong affection or attraction can develop anywhere – the street, the neighborhood, universities (ah yes, we have been there haven’t we?). Well, when romance springs up in an office setup it can lead to one of two things; it can either bloom into a beautiful tube rose, tall and magnificent – or, it can be your worst nightmare (it can lead to a termination, a law suit for harassment, downfall of one’s career and so on). There is nothing wrong with having an attraction or that special spark for someone; but one should be mindful of the line between a delicate passionate romance and an offending harassment.

Research shows we are likely to spend a third or even more of our lives at places where we work; it is then not surprising for the buds of romance to bloom at the office. Companies have tried to put a ban on dating among employees; but they soon realized “if it has to happen, it will happen”. Also, if two employees are romantically attracted, and if these two employees happen to be among the best ones a company has, they might lose their sense of loyalty for the company. Today, responsible companies have removed the restriction with a statement “what you do with your life is your business; we only care about how productive you are between office hours”. Still, how to make sure a manager isn’t taken off guard and how to make sure you as the management get the best out of this inevitable situation?

Define Boundaries

The first thing you as a manager need to do is make sure your company has a “harassment policy” – if there is not one in place, generate one and have it enforced as soon as possible. Acknowledging and appreciating the human element in your organization you obviously cannot create borders for emotions or feelings; but, you can make the harassment policy very clear to your human resource and let them know about the company’s take on the issue should one be brought up. If there is an employee who is not interested or receptive to the advances of another, they should know they can always come up to you and let you know with a confidence that their identity and the case will be dealt with high confidentiality.

Decide if it is Appropriate?

Many educational institutes as well as offices the world over have defined what is appropriate and what is not. Yes, this does sound a little harsh but then again, the company and its interests come first. The policy should spell out clearly what is and what isn’t appropriate. For instance, a manager being romantically involved with a subordinate can be tagged as in-appropriate. Make sure, the policy is as clear as possible, covering all aspects.

Benefits

The benefits of allowing romance among employees within acceptable limits can do wonders for the morale of your human resource. To start with, you will have a bunch of happy workers who love to work together. A happy worker is a productive worker right? The other benefit is that you will have fewer absentees since workers emotionally connected will look forward to spending time with each other, and since they can be together for prolonged hours at the office they will do their best not to absent themselves from the office. Another advantage is that emotional partners know they have someone they can trust and confide in to talk about their activities and issues at work – this way, they will try to resolve the issue among themselves before coming to you – eventually, the management will have more time to think about more serious issues like market competition and growth.

The Downsides

Situations like these can be controlled in a way that most downsides are preventable; yet, there are some which are simply not, no matter how effective and well laid policy you have in place. If two employees decide to get married, you might lose one of perhaps both. On the other side, you will at times have a few couples who will start to think they are a little more smarter than you – thinking that way, they will try to find loop holes within the policy. This particular disadvantage can be your strength should you decide to see it that way. Even if couples do find loopholes they are actually doing you a favor by finding them for you to fill. Another issue that may arise is the case of “heartbreaks” which is devastating to say the least – you cannot prevent this from happening, but if it does you can ease the suffering, you will need to make sure there is someone in the company (preferably at a senior position) who is friendly, popular among your employees and someone everyone likes to talk to. If an employee does give the appearance of a shipwreck, s/he can go to this individual and talk it out. You will be surprised how much a simple conversation can help.

What need to be done?

Prevention is better than cure and this is something you cannot prevent; but you can limit an undesirable event. Make sure you have a “fraternization policy”, well formulated and firmly enforced. Once you have enforced it, be realistic with your expectations. Chances are for the first few terms, your policy will reveal loopholes – once that happens, be active in filling those up. Make sure you have an “Employment Handbook” which details each and every policy the management has put in place. Distribute a copy of this handbook to every member of the company and take their acknowledgement for it. If you would like to improve the atmosphere of your company more, try to formalize an Employee Assistance Program/Department responsible for helping employees with their stress and issues, including those of emotions.

A well composed, widely publicized and strictly enforced fraternization policy will still not prevent office romances from blooming; however, it will make it a lot easier and less litigious for everyone involved particularly you, the management.

Remember, a good manager gets things done; a better manager mentors his/her subordinates to accomplish tasks time and time again, being mindful of their feelings and emotions.

So Mr/Ms Manager, choose to be a Mentor!